Top Ten Things to Love about Life on Crutches

Top Ten Things to Love about Life on Crutches

10. People — well, most people — are nice. They hold open doors and smile at me.

9. Attention. A fat, pale, forty-something guy walking down the street is virtually invisible. As a fat, pale, forty-something guy on crutches, though, I turn heads.

8. Buffets. Since I can’t carry my own plate to the pizza buffet, Clyde carries it for me. It’s the next best thing to dim sum.

7. Bath time. During bath time, the AirCast comes off, the little sock comes off, and my foot is wondrously, gloriously naked for fifteen to twenty minutes.

6. Driving. I’m lucky — I broke my left foot, so driving is still a possibility. Behind the wheel, I feel almost normal. (I can order things from drive-through windows without having to get out of the car, too.)

5. Generosity. My crutches were a gift from a friend of the family. Within half an hour of breaking my foot, Linda had delivered the crutches to Clyde.

4. The AirCast. Lightweight, easy-on, easy-off. Casts are a pain; AirCasts are da bomb.

3. Pain Medication. I’m lucky; since breaking my foot, I’ve not had much pain at all (except on days when I forget to keep it propped up as much as possible). I’m glad I got the pain meds, though — since during this same period of time, I’ve gotten two new crowns, both of which throb after every meal. When the toothache starts, I down an 800-mg Ibuprofen … and, an hour later, I’m right as rain.

2. No unpacking. I broke my foot on the first day of our move. One of my least favorite things about moving? Unpacking. Amount of unpacking I’ve done since breaking my foot? Practically zero. (Poor Clyde. I love you!)

1. A slower pace of life. On crutches, you slow down — you don’t have a choice! A trip across the room requires a lot of planning and effort — and you begin to appreciate what a miracle it is to be able to put one foot effortlessly in front of the other, day after day.

10. People — well, most people — are nice. They hold open doors and smile at me.

9. Attention. A fat, pale, forty-something guy walking down the street is virtually invisible. As a fat, pale, forty-something guy on crutches, though, I turn heads.

8. Buffets. Since I can’t carry my own plate to the pizza buffet, Clyde carries it for me. It’s the next best thing to dim sum.

7. Bath time. During bath time, the AirCast comes off, the little sock comes off, and my foot is wondrously, gloriously naked for fifteen to twenty minutes.

6. Driving. I’m lucky — I broke my left foot, so driving is still a possibility. Behind the wheel, I feel almost normal. (I can order things from drive-through windows without having to get out of the car, too.)

5. Generosity. My crutches were a gift from a friend of the family. Within half an hour of breaking my foot, Linda had delivered the crutches to Clyde.

4. The AirCast. Lightweight, easy-on, easy-off. Casts are a pain; AirCasts are da bomb.

3. Pain Medication. I’m lucky; since breaking my foot, I’ve not had much pain at all (except on days when I forget to keep it propped up as much as possible). I’m glad I got the pain meds, though — since during this same period of time, I’ve gotten two new crowns, both of which throb after every meal. When the toothache starts, I down an 800-mg Ibuprofen … and, an hour later, I’m right as rain.

2. No unpacking. I broke my foot on the first day of our move. One of my least favorite things about moving? Unpacking. Amount of unpacking I’ve done since breaking my foot? Practically zero. (Poor Clyde. I love you!)

1. A slower pace of life. On crutches, you slow down — you don’t have a choice! A trip across the room requires a lot of planning and effort — and you begin to appreciate what a miracle it is to be able to put one foot effortlessly in front of the other, day after day.

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

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Who Wrote This?

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

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