Of Queers and Cars

Of Queers and Cars

Fairy

Have you seen the ads for the Dodge Caliber? In an effort to position the car as an alternative for “tough guys,” it depicts a cute fairy’s unsuccessful attempts to transform the vehicle into a sugary-sweet confection.

In the end, the fairy bounces off the surface of the Caliber and smacks into a wall.

Witnessing this, a brutish passer-by taunts her: “Dumb fairy!” Our little friend responds by waving her magic wand and turning the guy into a raving homosexual, complete with a sweater tied around his shoulders and four poofy little doggies.

In other words: she turns him into a fairy. Get it? Get it?

Imagine, if you will, a parallel advertisement in which a happy little raccoon rushes through the city, changing skyscrapers into hollow trees and streets into babbling streams. Confronted with the Dodge Caliber, the raccoon tries again and again to change it into something forest-friendly, but fails.

When the Caliber takes a sudden turn to the left, its bumper smacks the raccoon and sends him hurtling against the nearest brick wall. There, a white man taunts him: “You stupid little coon!”

The raccoon waves his tiny hands … and poof!

The white man turns into a lanky African-American youth.

Do you think for a moment that the raccoon ad would ever see airplay?

Author’s Note: For the slow kids in the class — today’s entry is not meant as an attack on African-Americans. Please, people. I’m making a point here.

Fairy

Have you seen the ads for the Dodge Caliber? In an effort to position the car as an alternative for “tough guys,” it depicts a cute fairy’s unsuccessful attempts to transform the vehicle into a sugary-sweet confection.

In the end, the fairy bounces off the surface of the Caliber and smacks into a wall.

Witnessing this, a brutish passer-by taunts her: “Dumb fairy!” Our little friend responds by waving her magic wand and turning the guy into a raving homosexual, complete with a sweater tied around his shoulders and four poofy little doggies.

In other words: she turns him into a fairy. Get it? Get it?

Imagine, if you will, a parallel advertisement in which a happy little raccoon rushes through the city, changing skyscrapers into hollow trees and streets into babbling streams. Confronted with the Dodge Caliber, the raccoon tries again and again to change it into something forest-friendly, but fails.

When the Caliber takes a sudden turn to the left, its bumper smacks the raccoon and sends him hurtling against the nearest brick wall. There, a white man taunts him: “You stupid little coon!”

The raccoon waves his tiny hands … and poof!

The white man turns into a lanky African-American youth.

Do you think for a moment that the raccoon ad would ever see airplay?

Author’s Note: For the slow kids in the class — today’s entry is not meant as an attack on African-Americans. Please, people. I’m making a point here.

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

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Who Wrote This?

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

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