I defy you to find a Christmas song more contrived, cranked up, and cloying than “Christmas Shoes.”
I mean, how many layers of sappy sentiment can one holiday ditty be dipped in? Take a squeaky-clean white kid … make him poor … give him a sick mother … make her critically ill … arrange for her to “meet Jesus” on that very night … and make it Christmas Eve, no less.
The first time I heard it, in fact, I thought it had to be some kind of bizarre and horrible Christmas joke — the kind of thing deejays whip up to play during Morning Zoo.
At this point, I simply can’t abide hearing it. When it comes on SiriusXM’s Holly station, I jump immediately to the Big 80’s for the next three minutes … or I “tuck and roll” before jumping out of the car, as this fellow Christmas Shoes-hater suggests.
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